Day four:
I’ve been dreading writing this post since I came home. This day was by far the hardest emotionally for me.
We were going to go into Antigua (a bigger city in Guatemala with a market and tourist stuff) later that day, so I dressed nicer. We were delivering care packages to various families in need in the morning, and then going to Antigua that afternoon.
The first family we visited was a sweet family with two boys, a nine month old and a four year old. The four year old, 10 months ago, was severely burned on half of his body. He has been in the hospital since then. His dad stays with him 24/7 and his mom stays home with the baby. As you can imagine, there was no source of income. With the dad at the hospital all the time and the mom with the baby, they simply didn’t have money for food or anything else. It was an honor to be able to serve them. They melted my heart. Seeing the gratitude in the mother’s eyes is like nothing else. The four year old boy actually got all of the synthetic skin (which is super pricy) he would need to heal his wounds, donated from the States!! Praise be to God!!
The next few families were all living near each other in a sort of village. The first family was a family with 12 kids and no daddy. One day the dad was playing soccer with his kids when they kicked the ball into the street on accident. He went out to go get it and was hit by a truck and killed. Even typing those words makes me sick. The older children were forced out of school to work to support the family. I stared into the eyes of another 15 year old, just like me, who would never know her multiplication facts, much less be able to be anything she wanted to be. It killed me. We couldn’t even get a little smile out of the little children who were timidly hiding behind their worn out mother.
The next family is the reason why I couldn’t force my fingers to type for so long. I couldn’t process it. Some of you might know who Yessica is from the Block’s blog. She is a sweet 17 year old girl who either had polio when she was little or has CP, and is wheelchair bound and non-verbal. Her smile says it all, though. Her smile cannot be replaced, duplicated, or ever erased from my mind. We were able to give her her very first pair of shoes! Light up princess shoes to be exact:). The joy that radiated from her cannot be described. We were able to pray over her, and that is when I lost it. I was trying so hard not to disrupt the prayers with my tears. All I could focus on was trying to contain the sobs that so desperately wanted to escape from my mouth. The minute the prayer was over I ran out of their yard and into Matt. He is an older man who had been at VOH helping for a few months. He held me while I sobbed all over his shoulder. He just rubbed my head and stroked my hair telling me it was OK. I turned around and there was my soul sister, Addisyn, waiting to hold me also. I felt so bad taking the attention away from Yessica. I tried with all my might to control myself. I’ve only lost it like that a few times in my life. I didn’t want to make her family feel bad, either. I was completely relying on Christ’s strength to walk back into their yard and help distribute more shoes. I kept my eyes on the ground and my teeth biting my lip to keep it from quivering. I repeated Bible verses and told myself to keep breathing. I couldn’t put into words what I was feeling or why I was feeling it. I was overwhelmed and just wanted to go home and forget all of it. All I kept thinking was that she could be having therapies! Cooper and Conner (my little brothers, adopted from Ukraine in March, 2012) were similar to her, but were transformed with proper care. She didn’t deserve to be living in such horrendous conditions! I was so mad. I wanted to fix everything. I felt helpless.
The next family was nestled on the side of a hill near Yessica’s house. I didn’t go in. I couldn’t bear anything more. When 15 minutes later everyone else came out crying, I knew I made a good choice.
On our way up I was able to meet a little girl with clubbed feet, just like my Cooper had. I was able to hold her and tell her mom that I understood how hard it can be and speak encouragement to her. That lifted my spirits so much.
After that, we drove into the mountains and parked at the top of this huge mountainside. We walked down steep and sketchy steps to get to the last family. It was a mom who was blind, a severely special needs daughter, and a typically functioning daughter who stayed home to take care of them. They lived in a dark room that reeked of urine and rotting food. It was infested with bugs and flies. To top it off, they were being evicted. They had nowhere to go. We prayed with them and gave them shoes and food. Their faces were priceless. It’s such a striking contrast to us Americans. When we get another pair of shoes, it’s no big deal because we already have 20 pairs. They are receiving their first! It is monumental, something they’ve dreamed about, and the joy is phenomenal! Help me, Jesus.
After that family, we loaded up and drove in silence all the way to Antigua. Everyone was lost in their thoughts. We ate lunch at a very “American” restraunt, where Sweet Home Alabama played as we ate! There was a balcony with a beautiful view of a volcano.
After lunch we shopped til we dropped. I think we all felt bad buying souvenirs for our family and friends when we just saw poverty at the extreme. I had lots of fun bartering, though! I was excited to finally use my Spanish on my own that I had been working on all week!
We had pizza for dinner and then some soccer and devo:). The devotions that night were about beauty and it was led by one of the girls on the trip. It was so good! We ended up talking for a long time and all went to bed beat.
To be continued…….
