Thank y’all so much for praying for Buckshot, he is home now and getting better every hour!
The future. Those are some pretty intimidating words for a 15 year old. Especially a type A planner-likes-to-know-all-the-answers girl like me:).
It seems like everyday someone asks me something like, “What college are you going to?” “What do you want to be when you grow up?” “Do you know what you want to do?”
I am blessed to live in blessed family in a blessed nation where the possibilities are endless for my future. That also scares me, though. I for sure like to have things all figured out. I believe God has gifted me with the ability to organize things and plan well. There’s a balance, though. I don’t want to plan my life, because my plans are the ugliest shade of pale compared to my Author’s plan for my life!
Just so everyone knows, I don’t know if I want to go to college. I don’t know what God has in store for me. I believe He will reveal it to me in His timing.
He HAS revealed to me that I will work with Eastern European special needs orphans in some way or another. That’s a long story, but I believe that’s the direction He wants me to go. I want to do what He wants me to do.
I also want to get married and have children and be a blessed among women type of mother. I so desire to raise kids! I want to stay home with them and be available to them 24/7.
I’m so glad all of these details about how everything fits together are not in my hands. Up until a few weeks ago, the questions I would get would make me get real flustered. A lump would come into my throat and I felt like if I talked about it, I would cry. I’ve needed to make some decisions about school and things like that (because my current course load is somewhat dependant upon what direction I want to take for my future), and talking about them just about did me in. I prayed, and I was prayed over. I read some of my favorite chapters like Isaiah 51 and Psalms 139. I wanted so badly to not feel so heavy about these decisions! What I’ve learned is that He doesn’t want me to, and like a good Daddy He lifted them from me and gave me exactly what I was needing at that time.
Anxiety is something I’ve had to combat my whole life. While I have a bold spirit, anxiety about the “answers” always seems to creep in. Just recently I have grabbed a hold of God’s many promises in His Word about this subject and have warred against anxiety with all my HIS strength. Jesus has already won! He has redeemed my heart from anxiety. When that sick feeling overcomes my stomach and I feel like I might throw up, or when I feel so flustered I can’t even talk without crying, His promises are there. He’s right there holding my arms up. And I’m right there staring up into His eyes proclaiming what a magnificent King He is! Praise is the key. Through praise, chains are broken! All blessing and honor and glory BELONG to my Papa, forever and ever, amen!
So, for anyone who is struggling with “knowing the answers”, take heart. Our good, good God is right there. Just tell Him what’s up and praise His worthy name and He will NEVER EVER fail. Don’t be afraid of failure (because I have a lot in my life) but ask Him for guidance. He’s not going to spank you and put you in a time out! True love casts out all fear, and if you’re scared to admit to God that you don’t have it all figured out, don’t be. He already knows how you feel, and He wants us to cast all our burdens on Him. His love is so immense. He will pull you onto His lap and sing into your ear how precious you are to Him. How the day you were born was a day to rejoice in heaven, for you bring Him such delight!
I am taking my faith walk minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day, and I know my God will come through. I’m so excited for the plans He has in store! When I won the mission trip to Guatemala, I felt like God was calling me out and saying, “You, precious daughter, I want you to go to Guatemala!” It’s almost too much! That kind of stuff just doesn’t happen unless God clearly did it. It was a drawing with a bunch of names. I’m just so excited about what He has in store. I am forever thankful to my Savior for His blood. Without it, I would surely die.
My hardest time with anxiety is laying in bed trying to go to sleep. My mind will not turn off and I mull over every detail of my life and try to figure everything out late into the night. What I’ve found is listening to the Bible with the YouVersion App is awesome. Something comes alive in me listening to His Word being read. Also, getting a good Jesus Culture CD and listening to it as I fall asleep. Worship music places my thoughts on true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy things.
I know this post is all over the place, but I hope it was encouragement to someone out there!
This song has been on my heart lately, Did You Feel The Mountains Tremble by Delirious:
Did you feel the mountains tremble?
Did you hear the oceans roar?
When the people rose to sing of
Jesus Christ the risen one
Did you feel the people tremble?
Did you hear the singers roar?
When the lost began to sing of
Jesus Christ the risen one
And we can see that God you're moving
A mighty river through the nations
And young and old will turn to Jesus
Fling wide your heavenly gates
Prepare the way of the risen Lord
Open up the doors and let the music play
Let the streets resound with singing
Songs that bring your hope
Songs that bring your peace
Dancers who dance upon injustice
Did you feel the darkness tremble?
When all the saints join in one song
And all the streams flow as one river
To wash away our brokenness
And here we see that God you're moving
A time of Jubilee is coming
When young and old return to Jesus
Fling wide your heavenly gates
Prepare the way of the risen Lord
Let’s dance upon injustice today, my friends!!
. I was so excited!! The past few weeks I have been wrestling with my future. All of these questions are before me, and in my human nature, I’m trying to answer all of them and get a plan for the rest of my life. This past weekend I let go and let God, and He GAVE me a trip to Guatemala! I am blown away by His faithfulness and am continuing to trust that He’ll give me all the details and plans of the trip. God has such an awesome plan for my life that I can’t see right now, but I’m excited for this next chapter!! Thank You, Jesus!!!
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